• Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.
• Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
• The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
• Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
• Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
• Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.
• Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
• Upon hearing that his good friend, Lance Armstrong, lost his testicles to cancer, Chuck Norris donated one of his to Lance. With just one of Chuck's nuts, Lance was able to win the Tour De France seven times. By the way, Chuck still has two testicles; either he was able to produce a new one simply by flexing, or he had three to begin with. No one knows for sure.
• Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewellery."
• Piñatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims.
