• Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.
• The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris can make a paraplegic run for his life.
• The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
• When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
• When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
• When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."
• The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
• In 1991, Chuck Norris shot a 14 on an 18 hole golf course, falling short of his personal best by 2 strokes.
